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" I found myself to be more placid ingeneral, but I did have an occasional flash of temper. I would getextremely jealous when I saw the girls making a fuss over Pablo. I couldhave torn them to pieces more than once! My girl friends commented on howmuch different I was from the other guys. The girls were already fightingoff horny seventh-graders. Not that the girls weren't feeling their ownhormones! I even got to kiss a couple of them, at their request. We justkissed on the lips, but it was fantastic! I closed my eyes and pretendedthey were Pablo.At home, mom allowed me to wear proper lingerie for the first time. Whatheavenly sensations I got from it! Garter belts and real stockingsreplaced my tights. Mom gave me satin panties and lacy ones. Real adultstuff! My legs looked and felt like a million bucks. The image of myselfin the mirror was almost more than I could take. Mom had told me torelieve myself before I put on my slip and dress (I nearly died when shesaid it!), and I did, every. Gumby and his wife's young sister with whom he's been secretly working the family vegetable allotment and reputedly shagging occasionally...the very lovely Miss Ophelia Ratcatcher-Bucket, who is 19 years old and lives in Swansea although she was born and bred in Scunthorpe - in a test tube, hidden in a box in the Ratcatcher-Bucket family's attic."(lots of enthusiastic applause from the audience...real clapping, wolf whistling, cheering and laughing - not any of that Canned Nonsense that you get for your Telly Licence Payer's money on all those other downmarket TV shows)"Good evening folks, welcome to Who Said What. You both must be really itching to get started. But first, I'd like you tell the audience a bit about yourselves, so let's begin with your, Mr. Gumby. We usually call our contestants by their first names, so what does the 'D.P.' stand for ?" " I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that, Mr. Gumby" " That's ok, Mr. Gumby. I understand that you must be pretty nervous, being on.
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